First, I arrive at Longview Airport. I knew it was going to be small. But it was small...let me paint you a picture: I go to check in. Random guy checks me. Well, random guy is in charge of the entire airport apparently. Because we had to wait for everyone to check into the flight, so that random check in guy could open security. So not only is he American Airlines check in agent, he is also TSA . Sweet gig, random check in guy. But, apparently I look like TSA too...I got asked if you could take travel sized items through security. They're called travel size for a reason. Oh, but it didn't end there, random check in/TSA guy is also the gate agent. And not only is he the gate agent he also loaded our luggage on the plane and gate checked the carry on bags. This airport was literally a one man show. Slightly humorous. Slightly frightening.
Anyways, this isn't the only ball of excitement that happened while at Longview. This woman, who thinks she owns the world because she has bedazzled jeans (get over yourself) was the biggest DIVA I have ever seen. And this is coming from a diva...Homegirl goes through security and has 5 ziploc baggies of liquids. TSA tells her she can only have one bag - she asks when this rule changed. They said it never changed. She gets pissed. Anyhoot, so she's loading back on all her bangles and bedazzles and what not and asks where the bathroom is. Guess what, lady, bathroom is outside of security. Fool. So she asks if she can go without coming back through security. False. Not going to happen. They don't let her through. HA! So she throws a fit and eventually heads to the bathroom and back through security with all her flair.
And her saga continues: She trucks herself and all her baggage and ego to the plane....mind you she went when they called "Priority Access passengers only"...she had the last seat on the plane. Idiot. So, she trucks all her crap to the plane - she had 1 large rolling bag, 1 large duffle and 1 oversized purse. THREE items. You are allowed a large rolling bag and 1 personal item. So, when the same random check in guy goes to let her on the plane he informs her that she will have to check a bag. Well, lets just put it this way: diva went DIVA on him. She was not happy. And complained to the pilot about it. Like he cares.
Finally (or so I think), we get in the air and diva is in her last row seat. Plane lands and diva jumps out of her seat and dashes to the front of the plane, smashing some lady's head in with her oversized bag. Rude. Once she gets her big head out the door, I scurry off the plane and try to escape the craziness that was my flight.
So, as I'm sprinting through DFW to get to my gate (I had a two hour layover, but I wanted to get away from crazy lady), DIVA shows up right smack next to me as I'm waiting for the tram. She looks at me and goes "Does this take me to gate C 28?". First of all, do I look like I work at the airport and/or care about your final destination? No. So, I look at the massive sign that is right above her head that says "To All A and C Gates" and look back at her and say "Looks that way". HA! That was as good as I could come up with because all I really wanted to do was rip a rhinestone off her sweatshirt...
To be continued....
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